There is no escaping it. I’m going to be 60 in just a few short weeks. This seems like a cruel joke. After all, I was from the generation that wasn’t going to trust anyone over 30, and here I am, double that. What seems even more ridiculous to me is that I don’t feel this old. I don’t have “senior moments”, I’m about as agile and energetic as I’ve ever been, I’ve managed to retain my “hourglass” figure (although as I tell DH, the hours have gotten a bit longer).
Does this mean I look as if I’m 30, 40, or 50—not really. I attribute a lot of my good health to genes, diet, and exercise. In addition to being a lifelong knitter, I’ve been a lifelong swimmer. In fact, it is the prospect of approaching 60 that probably motivated me in the past few months to increase my workouts to mile or near-mile swims almost every other day. (Hah! I can tell myself. I’m more fit now than when I started this routine at age 28—and only did ¾-mile swims.) But swimming has its drawbacks. I won’t dye my gray hair because the chlorine will make a mess of it, and so when I look in the mirror, a different person peers out. I’ve decided to compromise a bit on the outside to keep the inside as tip top as it can be.
And when I shop in the bra department, I move swiftly past the lacy confections and directly to the “industrial strength” rack.
But the prospect of one of these “big” birthdays has led to some serious reflection on things that have been satisfactory in my life. Naturally knitting is one of those things, and it has taught me a lot, besides being able to take yarn and some needles and make something out of nothing. One of those things is an enjoyment of patience.
Most people who know me, particularly work colleagues, would consider me a classic Type A. I’m driven, I take too much work and usually finish most of it, and I hate imperfection. Like almost everyone else, I work in a world of real and imagined deadlines, and I often agree to mutually exclusive deadlines so I don’t have gaps between freelance book projects. Then I’m forced to work long hours and weekends until one book concludes. Knitting for myself offers a nice counterpoint, because I impose no deadlines. If things are not right, I rip and start over, knowing that a few hours of inconvenience will result in a lifetime of satisfaction because I came closer and closer to a garment that had no flaws. I find it hugely fulfilling to know that I am the only one who cares when a project is done and that I can take as long as I want to do it. This patience, this deliberate behavior is one reason I think knitting is so great. How many other areas in life are there where it is even possible to come close to such perfection?
But the enjoyment of working so slowly on something complex is tantalizing, and I find as I’m getting a little older, I’m less inclined to heap work upon myself. I’m slightly more willing to have a gap of time between work projects, and I’m more forgiving when I get only halfway down my weekend to-do list. I now have a hunch that I’ll get as much done with patience as with impatience. Maybe the next decade of my life will prove that this is true.
Here is one of the first projects I knit for myself without caring when it was done.
It is one of Myrna Stahman’s shawls, knit from the Haneke merino specified in the pattern. [The book is available here; the last book on the page.] It was my first shawl. It took me six months to knit, and I have not yet spotted a mistake. For me, it doesn’t get much better than this.
I'm Type A too, but imperfection doesn't bother me that much. I set a lot of knitting deadlines for myself, similar to the rest of my life. It seems that I enjoy knitting more when I am making significant progress toward my self-imposed deadlines and love the rush of finishing something on time! Does that make me a product-oriented knitter rather than a process-oriented one (as it sounds like you are?)
Posted by: Robin | February 19, 2007 at 11:58 AM
I have been reading thru your blog this evening. Found you by reading other blogs. Turning 60 is what my turning 50 was like in 2005. Now I will be 53 at the end of the year and don't mind at all. You are from my brothers generation. What a time period! The part of this post that made me laugh out loud was the "industrial strength" rack in the bra department. I can honestly attest to having to look at that rack too. Never thought I would see the day.
Love all of your posts and the sweaters are beautiful! Take your time. With each stitch I say there is a thought. I have solved so many problems with needles in hand. I've also put my feet back on the earth with my needles in hand. Knitting helps me not take things too seriously.
Posted by: Snowbird | May 25, 2008 at 10:53 PM